Woodbrooke

Published under copyright by Loveawake dating site. © Copyright 2024. All rights reserved.

Not many people believe that there are legitimate secrets we should withhold from the ones we love most. Quite the contrary, to a lot of people, being secretive is to be sneaky, dastardly, and deceitful. And yes, there are some secrets that must be told, no matter the potential destructive consequences or horrible end result.

There are dirty secrets. Like owing $95,000 in back taxes and child support, felony arrest records dating back to the Carter administration, and the 32.6 pounds of marijuana you’ve been “storing” that the DEA plans on seizing from behind the trap door in your wine cellar. These things left “unmentioned” are extremely damaging and they certainly aren’t little white lies nobody will “miss”.

Although there are certain secrets you should keep from certain people. They should be thrown over to chill indefinitely on ice because they seem to do more harm than good uncovered. Like telling your woman you spent $50.00 dollars on those roses instead of $10.00, or that you were late coming home from the dentist because you were at the caterer planning her surprise birthday party. It’s easy to see that these “secrets” need not be divulged because their importance is relatively trivial.

There are however, some “secrets” that you should never disclose to your SO, no matter how helpful and honest you think you are being in disclosing them. Revealing certain secrets often does nothing to demonstrate transparency, rather, they taint your clean hands with rotten dog crap because you inadvertently become “guilty” by association. It may be like throwing kerosene on smoldering embers and the backfiring explosion may in fact maim you and your efforts in remaining a principled human being in the eyes of the other person. Sad to admit that “no good deed goes unpunished”.

Here are some things that are best left unsaid:

• Your bestie’s man is hitting on you.

This is one sharp nasty contaminated needle on both ends. The minute you’re alone with this guy when you’re at her house and your friend has disappeared into the next room, or when he’s cornering you upon running into you at the supermarket, he’s offering himself up as a sideshow exhibit hungry for exploitation. He’s calling when he knows your man is at work because he’s stolen the number from your bestie and he’s been secretly dialing you along with a few of her other friends.

You tell him to eff off and his advances come to a screeching halt. He got the message and has left you alone since. Job well done.

Is there really ANY need to tell your man? Telling your best friend is a whole other ball of wax entirely and you’d be a jerk not to tell her. However, when it comes to telling your man, the only thing that will come of it may be him becoming enthralled in a seething rage in which he may end up in jail for assault. The only thing this is going to do is anger him and possibly put him and the sleazebag in harm’s way.

A secret like this is best kept from him because it can also become a lose-lose situation. People are bound to get hurt very badly not only physically, but emotionally and ego-wise. Your bestie’s douchey guy is going to be butt hurt and will probably deny everything when confronted and turn it back around on you and call you “the skank who was coming onto him”. And your man might actually end up believing something really happened between you two!

Just keep it zipped unless you don’t mind being made to wear your rear end on the front of your shirt.

• Your boss is a pig who’s ogling you every minute you’re in plain view.

Mentioning to your man the fact that your boss stares at your chest like it’s Chateaubriand marinating in white wine Au jus isn’t going to give him sweet virtuous dreams when he turns in after his nightly shave and shower. Instead, he’s probably going to get upset and tell you to quit your job, and it will make him want to do the same things he’d probably do to your bestie’s douche.

We all have a creep for a boss we have to put with at some point, whether he’s a dirty freak or a crapper that rides our rear until we’re ready to scream and go postal. Telling your man your boss is attracted to you is like telling him you don’t mind someone else’s hand lingering around outside the cookie jar.

Just imagine telling your boss he’s a dirtbag and then imagine how much he’d appreciate it. Although you probably should tell him, you don’t because the outcome supercedes the triviality of situation. Don’t bother telling your man because he isn’t going to appreciate it either.

• You’re faking the occasional orgasm.

Sometimes you’re too tired, you’re not feeling very sensual and you’re dragging your feet through the mud because you’re overly stressed from work. The last thing you want to do is get down and dirty because you haven’t been able to relax, except your man has been waiting patiently for a month for you two to have a night alone. Maybe your sex drive isn’t what it used to be and having sex has become more like hard duty instead of a good and necessary escape.

You don’t have the energy to tie your shoes, much less have a mind-scrambling orgasm, so maybe you can get by in quickly cutting to the chase. Let him feel good in making you “feel good” by pretending that you’re getting your world rocked and he’s the master of your universe. No real harm done if you can’t give up the good stuff every single time. We’re human, not immortal wizards who can make goat’s milk from a slice of stale bread.

We all have to fake it at some point to appease our man’s egotistic thirst for extraordinary manhood. He’s THE man, so we need to make him feel good about HIM even when we can’t. A fake one is sometimes necessary to make him happy. No need to tell him that.

• A good friend of yours is harboring a secret lesbian crush.

This is quite the Pandora’s box full of Coral snakes waiting to pounce and instantaneously kill should you mention this to your guy. There are two scenarios that are probable in revealing this type of information to him:

A) He’ll become so excited about the potential of having a threesome with you and her that he’ll never let you get by without having to listen to him mention it OVER AND OVER again. How much fun it would be, how much it would mean to him, how much hotter you’d be if, etc….

or….

B) He will get extremely jealous of the situation, as though she were your bestie’s sleazebag doucheguy trying to make moves.

If you are unconcerned with his reaction in this situation, proceed, and he may even brush it off. However remember, once this secret is revealed, it may be like getting slapped across both sides of your face. You’ll never be able to live it down either way because he’ll either invite the idea incessantly or he’ll hang it over your head as though it’s something detrimental to your relationship.

Don’t tell him because either scenario sounds like a real big drag to me.

There are good secrets and there are bad. Outright lying is rarely ever considered a moral act and lying by omission isn’t very noble either. However, if the breadth of a secret falls way short behind a very bad potential outcome, we should probably just keep our mouths shut, no harm done. Sometimes buttoning our lips is the only real solution that makes the most sense.

But shhhh don’t tell anybody.